The Seattle Stuckists vs. The Pigs On
Parade: The Whole Story
On
Saturday, May 26th, the Seattle Stuckists (J. Puma, Z.F. Lively, Amanda Perrin,
and myself, Brett Hamil) gathered to protest the kick-off of the Pigs On Parade
event here in the Emerald City. For those who are unfamiliar, this is the
latest in a plague of "Animals On Parade" events which will or have
already occurred in about three dozen cities this summer alone (including
London [cows] and Lexington, Kentucky [horses]).
The
basic setup is this: artists make proposals to decorate large, pre-fab,
fiberglass animals, which are then selected by corporate sponsors who pay
thousands of dollars to have their name and logo included in all the various
promotional materials (billboards, bus ads, banners, press releases, etc.)
Corporate sponsors also have the option to design their own pigs. Either way,
the bylaws of basically all the Animals on Parade events restrict any work of a
"political, religious, or sexual" nature, and in addition to being
chosen by a sponsor, the designs must be approved by the fundraising group as
well as by various civic and commercial organizations that are attached,
lamprey-like, to the event.
The
Seattle Stuckists began their planning for the event about a month in advance.
At first, I was unsure of my level of commitment to the protest, not wanting to
appear as a "spoilsport" or cranky cultural elitist. However, once I
familiarized myself with the facts, I was galvanized into action. The Animals
on Parade phenomenon represents an insidious trend in corporate art-vertising.
It appeals to the lowest public tastes by providing a kitschy, totally
predigested and inoffensive McArt for the masses, while giving business
interests a way to stamp their brand on a massive civic endeavour, putting a
smiley face to their stranglehold on the downtown heart of a city.
Here
in Seattle, it is illegal to post fliers on telephone poles (deemed a
"visual nuisance"), yet it is perfectly okay to fill the downtown
area with 200 gaudy fiberglass pigs. Here, it is illegal to sit on the
sidewalk, and a bum resting his dogies can be whisked away by the cops in mere
minutes, yet it is fine to leave tacky pigs sitting out on the sidewalks for
four months.
A
visit to the event's website (www.pigsonparade.com) revealed from the opening
page an unmistakable corporate presence, with Starbucks and AT&T logos
abounding. Indeed, there was far more information of a fiscal nature on the
site than anything else. After researching the event's effects and the response
from other afflicted cities, my resolve was steeled: I would, indeed, be there
at the grand Pig Parade, with a sign covered in bacon. I would proclaim to all
assembled, "ART-VERTISING IS BAD FOR THE SOUL."
Here
was an event perfectly suited for Stuckist dialogue: the underdog voice of
sincerity and authenticity rising up against a sea of PR and empty aesthetics.
As much of a no-brainer as, say, rising up against pickled sheep and unmade
beds, but with a slightly different emphasis. Here, instead of standing up
against vapid and sensationalistic postmodernism, we were standing up against
the "palatable" blending of art and advertising. The results, in my
opinion, are the same: to voice an opposition to a cultural milieu that has
come to mirror the hegemonic consumerist tyranny that good art is supposed to
rail against.
In
New York city, when they had their cow parade, the PETA-sponsored cow was
rejected because it was decorated with butcher's marks intended to comment upon
the hypocrisy of parading an animal that is inhumanely slaughtered and consumed
by the millions. They took their case to the State Supreme court and lost.
David Lynch, famed director/renaissance man, also had his cow rejected, on the
grounds that it was too gruesome and unpalatable. In Chicago, outsider artist
Ed Paschke decorated his $11,000 cow with gang symbols and was ordered to
remove it from public view by the office of Cultural Affairs, who later
relented and allowed it to be displayed behind thick glass and watched over by
museum docents.
The
point of the parade, of course, is to raise millions of dollars in civic funds.
When Chicago (copying Zurich, the originator of the event) reported revenue of
$200 million dollars, it was only a matter of time before cities across the
world would follow suit, hungry for the big bucks. It's interesting to note
that London's cow parade has been slapped with a lawsuit by Cow Parade Holdings
in Zurich, the original copyright holders, for stealing their idea. The London
parade is boasting the participation of YBA Damien Hirst, who will presumably
lend "artistic credibility" to the event. It's strange that London
would choose cows in the midst of a hoof-and-mouth disease outbreak, along with
mad cow disease. Likewise Lexington, Kentucky, who are parading horses while at
the same time grappling with a mysterious horse-killing infection whose cause
is still unknown.
Here
in Seattle, they sidestepped the copyright issue by choosing pigs. The
fundraiser was going to benefit the Pike Place Market Foundation, who already
owns the copyright on the pig. The parade pigs were designed by the artist of
the original "piggybank" sculpture that sits at the entrance to the
Market, right in front of the famed fish-throwers. The artist made two versions
of the pig: standing and sitting. Both are made of fiberglass and average 5 and
a half feet long and two inches wide (about the same average size of our city's
homeless and disenfranchised, who are not allowed to sit on the sidewalks.)
A
few days before the event, our crack media specialist J. Puma, sent out a press
release to all the local media, as well as to gallery owners and other
interested parties. The release was modeled on an anti-Pigs rant that I wrote,
which is slated to be printed in an independent local free weekly, the Tablet,
whose editors I found to be highly supportive of our ideas.
On
the morning of the Parade, we awoke early to put the finishing touches on our
signs and watch the morning news broadcast. We were surprised to hear this on
KING 5 News:
Newsdrone
A: "Well, the Pigs On Parade event kicks off today. A group called the
Seattle Stuckists plan to protest the event, though we're not sure why."
(glib chuckle)
Newsdrone
B: "Well it sure won't be because of this great weather we're having, heh
heh. Over to you, Bob."
(It's
interesting that the newsdrones expressed ignorance as to the reasons for our
protest, when we sent them a press release that precisely outlined them. Not
exactly rigorous journalism.)
Another
news channel was showing man-on-the-street interviews, and we were encouraged
to learn that for every mindless housewife who said, "This is such a fun
event!" there was someone who found it ridiculous. One normal-looking
businessman type said, "When I look at them all I think is 'Starbucks' or
'Nordstrom's,' that's what it seems to be all about--getting company names out
there."
Our
spirits buoyed, we piled into Amanda's car to head downtown. J. Puma had a sign
that said "STOP CORPORATE ART" on one side and "PIGS=TACKY
PIGS=LAME" on the other. My sign said "TACKY AND LAME EVENT"
(stapled with bacon, of course) and "ART-VERTISING IS BAD FOR THE
SOUL." Z.F. Lively was to be our camera man, so he wore a sign hanging
from his belt that said "END ART-VERTISING!" We also had smaller
signs that bore the Seattle Stuckist screed, and we came armed with a pile of
fliers containing the Pigs rant that came with a sticker meant for the pigs
that said "Please Remove--By order of the Aesthetic Counseling
Center."
Traffic
was gridlocked as we got closer to the event, so Amanda dropped us off on the
sidewalk and planned to rendezvous later, in front of the reviewing stand.
Almost immediately we began receiving both dirty looks and shouts of solidarity
as we pressed through the crowd. Below is a list of the most commonly heard
responses:
"They're not for real--it's just a joke."
"Find a real cause to protest!"
"You
have too much time on your hands!" (to which I replied, "No, I took
off work to be here today.")
"We're just here to have fun!" (to which I
replied, "So are we!")
"You're pissing a lot of people off!"
"You guys are uglier than the pigs!" (from
a surly drunk)
"I've
always thought that "art" was three-quarters of "fart"
anyways."(probably the most thoughtful commentary of all)
One
of the best responses was from a portly black police officer stationed on the
parade route, who pointed up at my "TACKY AND LAME" sign and said,
"Now that's I sign I can agree with!" in amused complicity.
There
was actually a great level of dialogue going on between we four protesters and
attendees of the parade. We talked to several different artists who had
designed pigs that were selected. I had expected the artists to be offended by
our presence, but instead they seemed to be copacetic to our cause. They agreed
that the event is bad for artists and for the art scene, and freely admitted
that it was merely a cheesy way to make $1500 and pay their bills. One artist
immediately approached us, handed me his card, and smiling, said "Put me
on your mailing list, man." Another artist was from a watercolor society
who had communally designed a pig, and after I explained our reasons, she gave
me her encouragement, and assured me that any proceeds their society made would
be put into a scholarship for artists. Another artist, who obviously had some
ego-energy invested in the event, wanted to make sure that we had looked at the
different decorated pigs and said "Are you saying my pig is tacky and
lame?" I assured him that we were not protesting against the artists or
their work, but rather against the unacceptable way in which they are made to
kowtow to corporate interests. Wouldn't a giant open-air art fair downtown be a
much more palatable way to get their work to the public and raise money for a
good cause?
The
funds raised by the Pigs On Parade (once you subtract a massive PR budget, and
things like the $250-a-gallon shellack used to protect the pigs from weather
and vandalism) are ostensibly to go to the Pike Place Market Foundation, which
subsidizes low-rent housing. This was the main point of pro-Pigs people; it's
for a good cause, therefore you have no right to protest it. However, most of
them backed off when informed that, first of all, the Pike Foundation is
nowhere near penniless, they are a thriving charity with ample coffers. Pike
Place Market is the eighth-most-popular tourist attraction on the West Coast.
And there's also the fact that Washington is one of the top 5 wealthiest states
in the country. There are plenty of other ways to help low-income people without
turning downtown into a corporate advertising nightmare. Add in the fact that
no public input was solicited or even considered in the planning of the event,
and you've got one whole heap of bullshit.
Indeed,
the corporate presence was stifling. Logos everywhere, official merchandise
booths, etc. If you can believe it, there were Starbucks employees wearing pig
snouts and carrying tanks of coffee on their backs, wending through the crowd
and handing out free shots of crappy java. Every time a pig was announced from
the reviewing stand, the name of its corporate sponsor was noticeably more
audible than the name of the artist.
We
finally met up with Amanda after our second promenade around the parade route.
She had been held up in traffic for the first half of the parade. Originally,
Amanda hadn't planned on carrying a sign ("I'm not as obnoxious as you
guys," she said.) She was going to hand out fliers to interested people.
But after trekking all the way through the crowd to find us in front of the reviewing
stand, she was fired up and pissed off at all the corporate sloganeering and
kitschy crap she saw, and she asked us to let her have one of our signs, which
she bore high and proud. (Note to other protesters: a pretty girl in your group
can only help.)
Somewhere
in there we were photographed and interviewed by reporters from the Stranger,
the city's most popular pseudo-alternative weekly. The reporter asked Z.F. to
stop filming her because, she said, "I'm already taking enough shit for
writing this article." Many, many other people photographed us with our
signs, whether because they agreed with us or possibly because in Seattle, site
of the WTO "riots", protesters are ubiquitous to the point of
becoming a tourist attraction. One group of elderly tourists from Salt Lake
City even asked if they could pose with my sign, and of course I let them. The
said, "We're gonna put this in our newspaper back home!" One older
guy asked, "What's that stuck to the sign?" When I told him it was bacon,
he laughed uproariously.
Almost
every single person who looked to be under 30 gave us the thumbs up. Many folks
thanked us sincerely for saying exactly what they had been thinking, and doing
it publicly and unabashedly. Schoolteachers, homeless kids, old hippies, pierced-and-tattooed
alternative lifestylers, art fans, at least half of everyone we encountered was
behind what we were doing. Most people who strongly disagreed seemed to have
some sort of vested interest in the event. One ignorant soul was heard to say
as we passed, "Protesting art, that's what's lame!"
The
most potentially scary moment came when a man wearing an event staff (neon
green) t-shirt came up to me, got about 5 inches from my face, and said
"Take that sign down or I'll tear it down." I stood my ground and
said, "This is America, man, you have no legal basis for telling me to
take my sign down. I'm expressing a dissenting opinion. I wouldn't do anything
stupid if I were you--we're videotaping this." I pointed to Z.F. with the
camcorder. He then took off his staff shirt, I guess so that he wouldn't get in
trouble, and continued to harangue me with questions like, "You know what
this event is for? It's good for the community.Do you know anything about how
the world works?" He then turned to Jeremy and began haranguing him.
Jeremy answered all of his questions with remarkable aplomb, holding back from
laughing in the guy's reddened face, and, in the end, the guy backed off, even
to the point of saying, "Well it sure is a nice day for it, isn't it? You
guys sure found a great spot for this"(gesturing to our proud spot
directly across from the reviewing stand.) When he left, he said, "Okay,
we're okay then."
Truly,
this scene marks some of the most briliant footage in confrontational guerrilla
aesthetics, to see every step as we gingerly guided the angry staff member into
admitting that we did have a valid point of view, and we were merely expressing
it. We kept telling him, "We're simply expressing a dissenting
opinion." The Pigs on Parade event may benefit the community, but only at
the expense of art and cultural credibility, and only with the further
proliferation of corporate advertising. There is definitely a better way. To
watch his expressions on tape, changing from anger, to suspicion, to confusion,
to near-camaraderie and unto downright agreeableness, has got to be one of the
most rewarding outcomes of the whole debacle. (Watch for it on a Stuckist DVD
in the works!)
And
if you think that just four people with signs will never make a difference, I'll
tell you that the parade's emcee, local TV host John Curly, even acknowledged
our presence to the whole crowd by saying, "The pigs--some people here
think they're tacky but we love 'em!" Truly, by the end of the parade we
had been accepted into the dynamic of the event, and there was less rancor than
curiosity. I alone talked to at least 50 people, and almost all of them were
receptive.
In
closing, we never showed up on any TV news, and I was unsurprised to learn that
the news stations didn't even send their own reporters or camera crews, they
merely used the footage fed to them by the event staff, and overdubbed the
requisite stupid puns to make this event, in the public eye, one big shimmering
feel-good smiley face. ("These big piggies are going to Market to bring
home the bacon for charity! A fun time was had by all!") This comes as
absolutely no surprise, since all the news stations sponsored their own pigs!
Journalism or promoterism, you decide.
I
maintain that it is crucial that Stuckists register their disapproval of
corporate art wherever it rears its shameful visage. In America, companies
spend an average of $2000 per household(!) each year in marketing and
advertising. The Animals on Parade events are certainly part of that budget,
yet they hide under the cloak of "public art." I believe that it is
in keeping with Stuckist ideals to protest, and I hope anyone living in a city
that plans to hold one of these lamentable events should at least take the time
to paint a sign and represent the Stuckists. You'd be surprised at how many
people will walk up to you and tell you that you're voicing exactly what they
were thinking. For some reason, Stuckists are saddled with the task of
vocalizing what everyone already knows, and yet that doesn't make it any less
valid. It just makes it that much more regrettable that no one's said it yet.